In Kenya one of the glaring gaps I see is the lack of Christian men. In Kibera the vast majority of people we work with are single moms or children of single moms. Fathers are sorely lacking. While walking through the slum with our current team I was talking with Joel, one of the team members. I shared the story of a girl one of our teams befriended who, at 20 years old, sincerely believes that men are incapable of being faithful to their wives. Her father has always had a mistress. She doesn't even see the point in looking for a husband who is faithful...she sees it as a myth.

I walk down the road here and often am faced with men yelling sexually suggestive things. Knowing more Swahili just means that I understand more of what is yelled. When I ride public transport how many times hands have been in places I'd deck someone in the states for. I hate that. Each time it happens and I start to get frustrated I wonder what the girls at the orphanage face everyday just walking to school. When guys do pay them attention it's because they want to have sex with them...and sometimes they flat out tell them that. I can go back home and get away from it. I can hang out with guys from our team who are gentlemen and protective of us and are respectful. I have so many guy friends in the US who are such amazing examples of what a Christian man is to live like. I grew up watching my dad and so many others in my church who were great examples of Christian men. Where are those for this generation here? Who is modeling to the boys how a Christian man acts? I was sharing this burden with Joel and it really hit him hard. He may be the only Christian man that some of these children see for a long time. What a responsibility for a 20 year old guy.

The following day the kids from the AIM House came over to play with the team. I was busy making pizza for the team's dinner but kept peeking out the window to see how things were going. I realized at one point I hadn't seen any of the girls for a long time and was curious what they were doing. So I walked outside and peeked around an out building to find Amanda, Megan, and Joel sitting on the ground surround by 7 of the AIM House girls who were practically sitting on Joel. He was laughing and having them teach him Swahili and letting them pull his leg and facial hair and basically loving them as Jesus would. It was such a perfect picture.

Kim, one of the other leaders, came in and relayed another story. Safia was playing soccer with the AIM House boys and with the other guys on the team. She tripped and fell and James, one of the guys on the team, rushed over to help her up....probably without even consciously thinking about doing it. Kim said the look on Safia's face was priceless – complete shock and yet tickled at the same time. I love that the AIM boys playing with them saw that.  I wondered how many girls in Kibera would never meet a Joel or James. How many will never see how a Christian man could love them just because they are people and not want or expect anything in return?

Don't get me wrong. There are Christian guys here. I have some friends who are great ones and we work with some pastors who are stellar examples. But they are a painful minority and almost an anomaly here.

Okay so after the past couple heavy posts I decided to share humor for no reason other than humor. 

When we walked into the orphanage the first time it was fun to see all the new posters hung up in the sitting room and reminders of the rules and things for the kids.  This poster obviously caught my attention.  Jacklin made it and we laughed about it a lot.  But in the humor there is also truth.  Most of the stupid stuff we do we know is stupid at the time we do it.  If we'd correct ourselves when we know we can we'd be way better off in the long run.  But it's way funnier to just hang up this than to lecture.  I'm going to frame it and put it in my room.

Kenya is now struggling to figure out what to do with thousands and thousands and thousands of Internally Displaced People (IDPs).  These are people who fled their homes and areas due to the violence.  Many have lost everything - homes, land, personal belongings, fathers, mothers, daughters and sons.  Many who have lost their family members know the people who committed these horrific acts.  Now they are being told to return home.  Where is home?  How do you go back to a place where you were violently chased from?  How do you return to live near the very people who killed your family members and burned your home?  How to you ever feel safe again there?  How do you raise your children near people who clearly hate you?

We drove by one of the camps in Naivasha.  Because of the tribal tones of the unrest there is actually two camps in this town.  One for Kikuyus and those siding with them and one for people whose ancestry is in western Kenya (Luos, Kalenjin...).  The one we drove by was for the Kikuyu people and is now home to over 4000 people.  There are tents for as far as you can see.  As we stopped to take pictures it was impossible to miss the kids standing out front and it made me wonder what's going on in their heads.  Will they grow up with lives shaded by hatred and seek to exact revenge for what their families have suffered or will they seek to be a generation who seeks for peace and intermingling of the tribes?

My friend Evans went with Nairobi chapel to volunteer at an IDP camp.  They spent time playing with kids and singing and praying and sharing the gospel.  He was so struck by a baby that he met.  Not yet one year old this baby has been separated from his parents.  Whether they were killed or merely fled the violence in a rush without him seems unclear.  Regardless, this small boy's life will never be the same.

Pastor Steve has spent time in this IDP camp and tells the story of one man who watched his mother, father and three brothers all murdered by people who were previously his neighbors.  Now the government is saying it will financially compensate people who were displaced if they return home.  He is saying he wants to go back and die but he's planning to use the money to buy a gun and take the murderers of his family with him.  How do you talk someone out of understandable rage?  Pastor Steve and other pastors have spent hours talking to this man.  Pray that he changes his mind and finds the Lord.

Other IDPs have found their ways to family members in safer areas.  One family in Eburru has taken in 27 family members who have lost everything.  A church near Nakuru has taken in one IDP who lost his wife and 4 sons.  They have gone together to purchase him a plot of land and are working to build him a house to help him start over.

In the media we hear all the horrible stories, so one of the truly great things about being in Kenya with the people who lived through the chaos was learning about how many heros stepped up to do what God has called us to do: to love our neighbor as ourselves.  Learn more about that soon!

It's hard to explain Kenya now. If I hadn't lived there before I might not notice any appreciable difference on the surface. Having seen all the pictures and videos online during the violence and knowing where those places are I expected to drive through burned out homes, shops and general devastation. But in true temporary housing fashion most of the burned areas have been rebuilt, reclaimed and reorganized already. Toi market has risen from the ashes a much miore organized shopping area. Olympic is neatly lined with shiny new tin shops. The AIC church is rebuilding it's roof. Mud homes are being rebuilt. However, below the surface there is still so much devastation.

Below the surface you learn that the Kikuyus who previously owned the majority of shops in the Toi market have been chased out by the Luos and Nubians. The market has been rebuilt with uniform shops and straight rows but the Kikuyus are being kept out. They struggle to create their own small market between Adams and Winner's Chapel. Below the surface there is still prejudice, distrust and anger ruling lives.

I sat for an hour with my friends Evans and Humphrey just listening to them. They have aged. I asked them what the hardest thing is now and Evans responded quickly. "Seeing his face everyday." he responded pointing at Humphrey. During the rioting they were running by a burning house when burning embers landed on Humphrey's face leaving two scars, one on his cheek and another on his nose near the corner of his eye. These two small scars are so minor compared with the missing limbs or large burns or lost lives, but looking at these two young men's faces and changed demeanors it's impossible not to see that it keeps the memories and traumas of that time painfully fresh.

But they and many of those who we talked to made sure to say that they are so thankful to the Lord for the fact that they are alive. Evans summed it up, "Before December 27th we thought peace was a small thing. Now we thank the Lord every day that peace is returning and ask him to make it stay. Peace is not a small thing."

More to come soon on how God showed up so clearly in chaos.

Once again mothers day is here.  It's part of life here, something we celebrate.  As children we make little construction paper cards with crayons, glitter and glue, and pick dandelions as if they are long stem roses.  Even today, we thank our mothers for all they have done for us and take them out to brunch and bring them actual roses.  It would be hard for someone to forget Mother's day becuase it's everywhere TV commercials, radio ads, on every store front.  It's really rather ludicrous to think we can thank them for all they have done by buying them a $2.84 card or even a dozen roses or whatever "thing" will "honor" then for all they've done.

I was listening to some radio program a couple days ago and they were talking about Mother's day and a lady called in saying that she had lost her mother and that this mother's day for her was going to be emotional and difficult.  I can't imagine what she's feeling but it made me think about my kids...not much of a leap as they are a part of every part of my life and never more than a moment away from my thoughts.   What's it like to know at 5 or 9 that you can never ask your mom another question?  What's it like to have no one to help you grow up?  To hug you when you have a bad day at school?  Or to make your favorite meal when you fall off your bike and skin your knees?    What is it like to watch your mom die of an illness you don't understand and fear?  What's it like to have relatives discussing at the funeral who is going to "have" to take you?  What's it like to be treated as a servant and to work long hours for your Aunt and Uncle who have now become your only hope for food and shelter?  What's it like to be 7 and have no childhood, facing daily abuse and guilt trips for "burdening" the people begrudgingly for you.  Plagued daily by memories of life before...before mom got sick and died...before your childhood ended. 

There are so many orphans.  I've seen estimate for sub-sahara africa that say there may be as many 48 million orphans in that area alone.  48 million.  It's beyond understanding or belief.  It's hard not to be overwhelmed.  But what our reponse from that state of disbelief says a lot about what we believe about our God and His call on us as His people.  Do we allow that overwhelmed feeling to make us impotent and keep us from doing anything or do we allow that disbelief to make us angry about the state of things and prod us into action? 

As followers of Christ we are called to model our lives after Jesus.  When the children approached him he didn't hold himself as too important for them.  No, he welcomed them with opened arms and chided those who sought to stop them.  We reach out to them and seek to ease their pain.  We put our security on the line and get our hands dirty helping kids that have no responsibility for their situation; kids who have no voice or influence to fight for themselves.  What is the Lord calling YOU to?  Can you pray for one of the kids?  Can you help us financially provide for them?  Can you host a African Dinner and let me tell your friends about what AIM is doing in Kenya?  Maybe something bigger than that? 

We as AIM have taken on these kids.  We are their family but we can't do it alone.  We need people who are willing to be monthly, consistent supporters.  We would like to reach out and help other orhans as well but we are unable to do that until we have people coming along side us and saying they are willing to help.

It all boils down to what we believe about our God.  In James He lays it out clearly: Religion that the Lord accepts is to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world.  The orphans are in distress.  What are YOU doing about it?

To financially support the orphanage:

Adventures in Mission
6000 Wellspring Trail
Gainesville, GA 30506
Make a note that it's for the Kenya Orphanage fund.

or contact me directly about having an automatic withdrawl form or to see how to be involved in other ways:   Deniseisinkenya@yahoo.com

While I wait for God's timing of my return to Kenya I am keeping busy working on fundraising and awareness raising for the orphans in Kenya.

The challenge is finding new people to talk to and ways to get the information out. While I was in the Chicago area recently, I hosted a couple of dinners at various friends' homes where I would cook traditional Kenyan foods and they would invite friends over who were open to learning about Kenya. It is great to help people experience this small part of daily life in Kenya. Over dinner we get to talk about the kids and life in Kibera, and after dinner if there is interest I share a PowerPoint presentation with pictures of the kids and more information. This has been an easy way to get more people aware of what we are doing in Kenya. It's been great to help people experience African food for the first time and to see them leaving with recipes knowing they will remember the kids each time they make them. Through this awareness we've also gained some prayer supporters and financial supporters for the orphanage which is such a blessing.

If you live in Kansas, Nebraska, Illinois, Oklahoma or Colorado, Wisconsin, Minnesota or nearby areas and are interested in allowing me to host a Kenyan dinner for some of your friends who might be interested, please contact me! What I would need from you is allowing me to use your kitchen, home, and willingness to invite your friends who might be interested in learning more about Kenya and work with orphans. I'll provide the food, cook and set everything up, and if you or anyone wants to know how to cook Kenyan food I'd be happy to have some cooking help, but I can do it alone as well. Call me and we can work out the details!

Once again, God has shown that my plans are not His plans! As many of you know, Kenya has gone through two months of civil unrest, violence and chaos following the December 27th elections (for more info see my blog at http://deniseroberts. myadventures.org). Due to this, I was unable to return in January as previously planned.

We have been in contact with our friends, staff and the kids via cell phones and email. They are now reporting that calm has returned and held for over a month. We are praying that the new power sharing coalition between the rival politicians will lead Kenya into a new stability and a form of democracy that benefits all Kenyans.

Through this time we've been able to get relief in via wire transfers and some dedicated staff members who have been our arms, legs, eyes and ears on the ground, but it has come time for us to go and see for ourselves how Kenya, Kibera, our friends and the ministry have been affected by violence and divisions that have been accented by it.

Therefore, Lord willing, I will leave for Kenya May 12, along with Scott Nelson (my supervisor) and Jason Driver (guy who was in Kenya with me the first 3 months in 2006). Scott and Jason's schedules and other responsibilities only allow for a 7 day trip. Due to the uncertainty of the situation I will be unable to stay longer until there are other staff members there as well; I appreciate AIM's concern for my safety. I also have obligations for fundraising this summer that were set up before the chaos. I know this time will be frustratingly short as my list is already impossibly long (and that's without anyone there knowing I'm coming) but I trust that God's provision of this time is full of His plan. Our first priority is checking on our staff, friends, kids, ministries and the situation in general. We aren't really sure what we are going to find, how Kibera has changed and how the lives of those there have been impacted. I will be taking tons of pictures to update everyone. I will also be having one-on-ones with as many kids and staff members as I can to see what trauma they have seen and how we can pray and assist them in dealing with it. I also have a long list of people we haven't had contact with (friends from shops, church, and just neighbors) who I want to check on and see how they are.

Please be in prayer for me as I prepare my heart and mind for this time as well as for the trip itself. Pray that God would make his plan clear for this time and as we plan for the future.

Once again I find myself in the land of ice and snow (aka: Chicagoland).  It's good to catch up with friends and be in an area busier than Holdrege,NE. But I find that this trip is also about coming to terms with Kenya's situation.  It's realizing that Kenya has desended to a place where it is unsafe for me to be there.  When I left in August I NEVER believed that I wouldn't be back there now.  It is painfully surreal. 

It's feeling that I need and want to tell everyone who will listen what is going on in Kenya -- ask them to pray, support relief efforts as they are able, just let the world know what is going on.  But on the other hand, it is painful to look at pictures of friends and the kids and knowing how different everything is.  My friend Edward and his family have fled to Nakuru becuase of the violence and don't have any intentions of returning.  Purity and Ivon are still with relatives they went to see over the holiday because it is too violent to safely travel.  When I call friends I hear the pain, fear and discouragement in their voices.

In Kibera it's been a constant struggle to understand why some of God's childrens live in such unbelievable poverty and others live in relative oppulence here in the US.  Now that is even more profound. I sit here in a warm house in Chicago sleeping in a friend's extra room.  I'm safe, warm and have all I need and more. 

Why have I been so blessed?  In the US we have so much.  More than we need.  And yet are we thankful?  When we get that new "thing" we were striving for how long does our contentment last?  When we pray is it about what we want or being thankful for what we have? 

It is with a broken heart that I report that Moreen has chosen to leave AIM House.  She has had a rough life and has struggled to find her place in the house and to live with in the rules that make life with 15 kids organized.  When she came to us 4 years ago she had been taught many strange things because of cults she had been exposed to and had received basically no education as a 14 year old girl.  Now, 4 years later she continues to struggle in school because of her age related to her classmates and due to the face that with 3 years of school she'd been placed in the 6th grade.  We had many tutors work with her but she had grown to believe that she was stupid and couldn't master the subjects she was tested in.  When we worked with her we'd see break throughs -- her doing the best on a timed multiplication table -- and then see it vanish so quickly.  She also had grown to believe that she was being blamed for problems that were not part of her doing -- even when you stood right in front of her and told her bluntly that you weren't blaming her that it was a whole family issue she had difficulty believing it.  Her attitude got in the way of her fitting in well and making friends.  In many ways she's a normal teenager, wanting more independence than she was prepared for and rebelling against rules and authority.  But it's so painful to watch her walk away. 

All we can do is pray that she changes her mind and returns and that we will have means to help her at that time in a way we haven't been able to.  We've spoken a lot about this with eachother on staff and with Eva, our house mom.  We are all broken hearted and in pain watching Moreen walk away but we can't force her to stay.  We can't force her to accept the help we are offering.  We can't force her to understand how her life will be different and difficult without education.  We can't make her understand the protection offered to her by living in the house.  We must trust that we have shown her the Lord's love and taught her scripture and how to walk in Him and we must trust that He is there with her even when she is far away.  Above all, as she returns to her relatives to live, we pray that she makes wise choices and that the Lord will protect and guide her.

As I've spent time thinking and praying and crying about this these past few days the Lord has shown me how often I act like Moreen.  He is standing in front of me offering His help, His love, His plan but I think I know better and I walk away.  He could force Himself on me but, in love, He won't.  I realize how often I have grieved His heart by my rejection of Him and how the situation with Moreen gives us a small prespective of the pain we cause Him everyday -- by not spending time with him, by treating prayer as a last resort rather than a first defense, by trying to do things in our own strength that would be so much easier and better done in His.  Why do I continue to act like a rebellious child when the God of the Universe is offering His perfect help, love, grace and provision?  God forgive me.  And yet everytime I, the prodigal daughter, return he is there with open arms.

Please join us in prayer for Moreen as she lives with her relatives that she would remember the Lord is with her and that He loves her and that we love her as well.  Pray also that she will know we are here with open arms ready to love her.

The latest news out of Kenya is that over 300 have died and 70,000 have been displaced in the wake of a flawed election. Please help us reach out to the poor who are most affected with a donation to help us buy food for the orphans in the slum of Kibera. Any money you give will be wired directly to our base to buy food.

Click on the Link below to give now to the Relief Efforts!
https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=kenyaBaseRelief

The country's economy has shut down and most neighbors at our Kibera base simply have no food to eat - the situation is dire and they are desperate. Alex is an example. He is a close Kenyan friend of ours who was shot in the uproar and languishes in a hospital with minimal care.

Our Kenyan staff has asked God what he would have us do and they feel that he wants us to help provide food and share the love of Christ in tangible ways. Yesterday some of the poor in our neighborhood were able to buy a few small vegetables at a very inflated price. Those in the slum who already struggle to get food on a daily basis are suffering the most.

When we buy food, we work with local pastors to distribute it to those in the worst condition. There are a few staging areas beginning to develop and two have been identified thus far that we are going to try and fund.

Please help bring hope to this horrible situation.