Denise Roberts - Bringing the Father to the Fatherless - Kenya Orphanage Ministry

Where are all the Christian men?

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Those of you who know me know that the lack of guys in ministries and churches has been on my heart for a long time. In the US, when I worked with Chicago Outreach Ministries how often we would go to do outreach to the homeless in Chicago (mainly men) and have only one or two guys in each group. In Kenya our teams are always so lopsided to the girls. The current team is one of the best we've ever had and still the girls outweigh the guys 2 to 1. Now I know much has been done and said about why this is and I'm really not trying to get into that debate.

In Kenya one of the glaring gaps I see is the lack of Christian men. In Kibera the vast majority of people we work with are single moms or children of single moms. Fathers are sorely lacking. While walking through the slum with our current team I was talking with Joel, one of the team members. I shared the story of a girl one of our teams befriended who, at 20 years old, sincerely believes that men are incapable of being faithful to their wives. Her father has always had a mistress. She doesn't even see the point in looking for a husband who is faithful...she sees it as a myth.

I walk down the road here and often am faced with men yelling sexually suggestive things. Knowing more Swahili just means that I understand more of what is yelled. When I ride public transport how many times hands have been in places I'd deck someone in the states for. I hate that. Each time it happens and I start to get frustrated I wonder what the girls at the orphanage face everyday just walking to school. When guys do pay them attention it's because they want to have sex with them...and sometimes they flat out tell them that. I can go back home and get away from it. I can hang out with guys from our team who are gentlemen and protective of us and are respectful. I have so many guy friends in the US who are such amazing examples of what a Christian man is to live like. I grew up watching my dad and so many others in my church who were great examples of Christian men. Where are those for this generation here? Who is modeling to the boys how a Christian man acts? I was sharing this burden with Joel and it really hit him hard. He may be the only Christian man that some of these children see for a long time. What a responsibility for a 20 year old guy.

The following day the kids from the AIM House came over to play with the team. I was busy making pizza for the team's dinner but kept peeking out the window to see how things were going. I realized at one point I hadn't seen any of the girls for a long time and was curious what they were doing. So I walked outside and peeked around an out building to find Amanda, Megan, and Joel sitting on the ground surround by 7 of the AIM House girls who were practically sitting on Joel. He was laughing and having them teach him Swahili and letting them pull his leg and facial hair and basically loving them as Jesus would. It was such a perfect picture.

Kim, one of the other leaders, came in and relayed another story. Safia was playing soccer with the AIM House boys and with the other guys on the team. She tripped and fell and James, one of the guys on the team, rushed over to help her up....probably without even consciously thinking about doing it. Kim said the look on Safia's face was priceless - complete shock and yet tickled at the same time. I love that the AIM boys playing with them saw that. I wondered how many girls in Kibera would never meet a Joel or James. How many will never see how a Christian man could love them just because they are people and not want or expect anything in return?

Don't get me wrong. There are Christian guys here. I have some friends who are great ones and we work with some pastors who are stellar examples. But they are a painful minority and almost an anomaly here.

Please pray that God would capture the hearts of the men and boys here. That they would be changed and would change their society and model it to the next generation. That they would seek to love their wives and children as Christ loved the church as they are called to (Ephesians 5:25-33) - not seeing that as a burden but as an honor and a high calling. Pray that God would show the women and girls here that they are worthy of respect and honor. I don't expect this to stop being a patriarchal society. But the lack of Christian men is causing the children to loose faith that marriage and relationships as the Bible spells them out is possible. Pray that men here would feel their need for a Savior and be forever changed. Pray that more guys would come on AIM trips to model it and encourage and disciple guys here.

Truth in the humor

Sun, 25 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Okay so after the past couple heavy posts I decided to share humor for no reason other than humor.

When we walked into the orphanage the first time it was fun to see all the new posters hung up in the sitting room and reminders of the rules and things for the kids. This poster obviously caught my attention. Jacklin made it and we laughed about it a lot. But in the humor there is also truth. Most of the stupid stuff we do we know is stupid at the time we do it. If we'd correct ourselves when we know we can we'd be way better off in the long run. But it's way funnier to just hang up this than to lecture. I'm going to frame it and put it in my room.

Internally Displaced People

Fri, 23 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Kenya is now struggling to figure out what to do with thousands and thousands and thousands of Internally Displaced People (IDPs). These are people who fled their homes and areas due to the violence. Many have lost everything - homes, land, personal belongings, fathers, mothers, daughters and sons. Many who have lost their family members know the people who committed these horrific acts. Now they are being told to return home. Where is home? How do you go back to a place where you were violently chased from? How do you return to live near the very people who killed your family members and burned your home? How to you ever feel safe again there? How do you raise your children near people who clearly hate you?

We drove by one of the camps in Naivasha. Because of the tribal tones of the unrest there is actually two camps in this town. One for Kikuyus and those siding with them and one for people whose ancestry is in western Kenya (Luos, Kalenjin...). The one we drove by was for the Kikuyu people and is now home to over 4000 people. There are tents for as far as you can see. As we stopped to take pictures it was impossible to miss the kids standing out front and it made me wonder what's going on in their heads. Will they grow up with lives shaded by hatred and seek to exact revenge for what their families have suffered or will they seek to be a generation who seeks for peace and intermingling of the tribes?

My friend Evans went with Nairobi chapel to volunteer at an IDP camp. They spent time playing with kids and singing and praying and sharing the gospel. He was so struck by a baby that he met. Not yet one year old this baby has been separated from his parents. Whether they were killed or merely fled the violence in a rush without him seems unclear. Regardless, this small boy's life will never be the same.

Pastor Steve has spent time in this IDP camp and tells the story of one man who watched his mother, father and three brothers all murdered by people who were previously his neighbors. Now the government is saying it will financially compensate people who were displaced if they return home. He is saying he wants to go back and die but he's planning to use the money to buy a gun and take the murderers of his family with him. How do you talk someone out of understandable rage? Pastor Steve and other pastors have spent hours talking to this man. Pray that he changes his mind and finds the Lord.

Other IDPs have found their ways to family members in safer areas. One family in Eburru has taken in 27 family members who have lost everything. A church near Nakuru has taken in one IDP who lost his wife and 4 sons. They have gone together to purchase him a plot of land and are working to build him a house to help him start over.

In the media we hear all the horrible stories, so one of the truly great things about being in Kenya with the people who lived through the chaos was learning about how many heros stepped up to do what God has called us to do: to love our neighbor as ourselves. Learn more about that soon!

Kenya Now

Thu, 22 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT

It's hard to explain Kenya now. If I hadn't lived there before I might not notice any appreciable difference on the surface. Having seen all the pictures and videos online during the violence and knowing where those places are I expected to drive through burned out homes, shops and general devastation. But in true temporary housing fashion most of the burned areas have been rebuilt, reclaimed and reorganized already. Toi market has risen from the ashes a much miore organized shopping area. Olympic is neatly lined with shiny new tin shops. The AIC church is rebuilding it's roof. Mud homes are being rebuilt. However, below the surface there is still so much devastation.

Below the surface you learn that the Kikuyus who previously owned the majority of shops in the Toi market have been chased out by the Luos and Nubians. The market has been rebuilt with uniform shops and straight rows but the Kikuyus are being kept out. They struggle to create their own small market between Adams and Winner's Chapel. Below the surface there is still prejudice, distrust and anger ruling lives.

I sat for an hour with my friends Evans and Humphrey just listening to them. They have aged. I asked them what the hardest thing is now and Evans responded quickly. "Seeing his face everyday." he responded pointing at Humphrey. During the rioting they were running by a burning house when burning embers landed on Humphrey's face leaving two scars, one on his cheek and another on his nose near the corner of his eye. These two small scars are so minor compared with the missing limbs or large burns or lost lives, but looking at these two young men's faces and changed demeanors it's impossible not to see that it keeps the memories and traumas of that time painfully fresh.

But they and many of those who we talked to made sure to say that they are so thankful to the Lord for the fact that they are alive. Evans summed it up, "Before December 27th we thought peace was a small thing. Now we thank the Lord every day that peace is returning and ask him to make it stay. Peace is not a small thing."

More to come soon on how God showed up so clearly in chaos.

Mother's Day thoughts...

Sat, 10 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Once again mothers day is here. It's part of life here, something we celebrate. As children we make little construction paper cards with crayons, glitter and glue, and pick dandelions as if they are long stem roses. Even today, we thank our mothers for all they have done for us and take them out to brunch and bring them actual roses. It would be hard for someone to forget Mother's day becuase it's everywhere TV commercials, radio ads, on every store front. It's really rather ludicrous to think we can thank them for all they have done by buying them a $2.84 card or even a dozen roses or whatever "thing" will "honor" then for all they've done.

I was listening to some radio program a couple days ago and they were talking about Mother's day and a lady called in saying that she had lost her mother and that this mother's day for her was going to be emotional and difficult. I can't imagine what she's feeling but it made me think about my kids...not much of a leap as they are a part of every part of my life and never more than a moment away from my thoughts. What's it like to know at 5 or 9 that you can never ask your mom another question? What's it like to have no one to help you grow up? To hug you when you have a bad day at school? Or to make your favorite meal when you fall off your bike and skin your knees? What is it like to watch your mom die of an illness you don't understand and fear? What's it like to have relatives discussing at the funeral who is going to "have" to take you? What's it like to be treated as a servant and to work long hours for your Aunt and Uncle who have now become your only hope for food and shelter? What's it like to be 7 and have no childhood, facing daily abuse and guilt trips for "burdening" the people begrudgingly for you. Plagued daily by memories of life before...before mom got sick and died...before your childhood ended.

There are so many orphans. I've seen estimate for sub-sahara africa that say there may be as many 48 million orphans in that area alone. 48 million. It's beyond understanding or belief. It's hard not to be overwhelmed. But what our reponse from that state of disbelief says a lot about what we believe about our God and His call on us as His people. Do we allow that overwhelmed feeling to make us impotent and keep us from doing anything or do we allow that disbelief to make us angry about the state of things and prod us into action?

As followers of Christ we are called to model our lives after Jesus. When the children approached him he didn't hold himself as too important for them. No, he welcomed them with opened arms and chided those who sought to stop them. We reach out to them and seek to ease their pain. We put our security on the line and get our hands dirty helping kids that have no responsibility for their situation; kids who have no voice or influence to fight for themselves. What is the Lord calling YOU to? Can you pray for one of the kids? Can you help us financially provide for them? Can you host a African Dinner and let me tell your friends about what AIM is doing in Kenya? Maybe something bigger than that?

We as AIM have taken on these kids. We are their family but we can't do it alone. We need people who are willing to be monthly, consistent supporters. We would like to reach out and help other orhans as well but we are unable to do that until we have people coming along side us and saying they are willing to help.

It all boils down to what we believe about our God. In James He lays it out clearly: Religion that the Lord accepts is to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world. The orphans are in distress. What are YOU doing about it?

To financially support the orphanage:

Adventures in Mission
6000 Wellspring Trail
Gainesville, GA 30506
Make a note that it's for the Kenya Orphanage fund.

or contact me directly about having an automatic withdrawl form or to see how to be involved in other ways: Deniseisinkenya@yahoo.com

Returning to Kenya

Mon, 5 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Once again, God has shown that my plans are not His plans! As many of you know, Kenya has gone through two months of civil unrest, violence and chaos following the December 27th elections (for more info see my blog at http://deniseroberts. myadventures.org). Due to this, I was unable to return in January as previously planned.

We have been in contact with our friends, staff and the kids via cell phones and email. They are now reporting that calm has returned and held for over a month. We are praying that the new power sharing coalition between the rival politicians will lead Kenya into a new stability and a form of democracy that benefits all Kenyans.

Through this time we've been able to get relief in via wire transfers and some dedicated staff members who have been our arms, legs, eyes and ears on the ground, but it has come time for us to go and see for ourselves how Kenya, Kibera, our friends and the ministry have been affected by violence and divisions that have been accented by it.

Therefore, Lord willing, I will leave for Kenya May 12, along with Scott Nelson (my supervisor) and Jason Driver (guy who was in Kenya with me the first 3 months in 2006). Scott and Jason's schedules and other responsibilities only allow for a 7 day trip. Due to the uncertainty of the situation I will be unable to stay longer until there are other staff members there as well; I appreciate AIM's concern for my safety. I also have obligations for fundraising this summer that were set up before the chaos. I know this time will be frustratingly short as my list is already impossibly long (and that's without anyone there knowing I'm coming) but I trust that God's provision of this time is full of His plan. Our first priority is checking on our staff, friends, kids, ministries and the situation in general. We aren't really sure what we are going to find, how Kibera has changed and how the lives of those there have been impacted. I will be taking tons of pictures to update everyone. I will also be having one-on-ones with as many kids and staff members as I can to see what trauma they have seen and how we can pray and assist them in dealing with it. I also have a long list of people we haven't had contact with (friends from shops, church, and just neighbors) who I want to check on and see how they are.

Please be in prayer for me as I prepare my heart and mind for this time as well as for the trip itself. Pray that God would make his plan clear for this time and as we plan for the future.

African Food Anyone?

Mon, 5 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT

While I wait for God's timing of my return to Kenya I am keeping busy working on fundraising and awareness raising for the orphans in Kenya.

The challenge is finding new people to talk to and ways to get the information out. While I was in the Chicago area recently, I hosted a couple of dinners at various friends' homes where I would cook traditional Kenyan foods and they would invite friends over who were open to learning about Kenya. It is great to help people experience this small part of daily life in Kenya. Over dinner we get to talk about the kids and life in Kibera, and after dinner if there is interest I share a PowerPoint presentation with pictures of the kids and more information. This has been an easy way to get more people aware of what we are doing in Kenya. It's been great to help people experience African food for the first time and to see them leaving with recipes knowing they will remember the kids each time they make them. Through this awareness we've also gained some prayer supporters and financial supporters for the orphanage which is such a blessing.

If you live in Kansas, Nebraska, Illinois, Oklahoma or Colorado, Wisconsin, Minnesota or nearby areas and are interested in allowing me to host a Kenyan dinner for some of your friends who might be interested, please contact me! What I would need from you is allowing me to use your kitchen, home, and willingness to invite your friends who might be interested in learning more about Kenya and work with orphans. I'll provide the food, cook and set everything up, and if you or anyone wants to know how to cook Kenyan food I'd be happy to have some cooking help, but I can do it alone as well. Call me and we can work out the details!

On the Road Again!

Sat, 9 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Once again I find myself in the land of ice and snow (aka: Chicagoland). It's good to catch up with friends and be in an area busier than Holdrege,NE. But I find that this trip is also about coming to terms with Kenya's situation. It's realizing that Kenya has desended to a place where it is unsafe for me to be there. When I left in August I NEVER believed that I wouldn't be back there now. It is painfully surreal.

It's feeling that I need and want to tell everyone who will listen what is going on in Kenya -- ask them to pray, support relief efforts as they are able, just let the world know what is going on. But on the other hand, it is painful to look at pictures of friends and the kids and knowing how different everything is. My friend Edward and his family have fled to Nakuru becuase of the violence and don't have any intentions of returning. Purity and Ivon are still with relatives they went to see over the holiday because it is too violent to safely travel. When I call friends I hear the pain, fear and discouragement in their voices.

In Kibera it's been a constant struggle to understand why some of God's childrens live in such unbelievable poverty and others live in relative oppulence here in the US. Now that is even more profound. I sit here in a warm house in Chicago sleeping in a friend's extra room. I'm safe, warm and have all I need and more.

Why have I been so blessed? In the US we have so much. More than we need. And yet are we thankful? When we get that new "thing" we were striving for how long does our contentment last? When we pray is it about what we want or being thankful for what we have?

Choosing to Walk Alone

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT

It is with a broken heart that I report that Moreen has chosen to leave AIM House. She has had a rough life and has struggled to find her place in the house and to live with in the rules that make life with 15 kids organized. When she came to us 4 years ago she had been taught many strange things because of cults she had been exposed to and had received basically no education as a 14 year old girl. Now, 4 years later she continues to struggle in school because of her age related to her classmates and due to the face that with 3 years of school she'd been placed in the 6th grade. We had many tutors work with her but she had grown to believe that she was stupid and couldn't master the subjects she was tested in. When we worked with her we'd see break throughs -- her doing the best on a timed multiplication table -- and then see it vanish so quickly. She also had grown to believe that she was being blamed for problems that were not part of her doing -- even when you stood right in front of her and told her bluntly that you weren't blaming her that it was a whole family issue she had difficulty believing it. Her attitude got in the way of her fitting in well and making friends. In many ways she's a normal teenager, wanting more independence than she was prepared for and rebelling against rules and authority. But it's so painful to watch her walk away.

All we can do is pray that she changes her mind and returns and that we will have means to help her at that time in a way we haven't been able to. We've spoken a lot about this with eachother on staff and with Eva, our house mom. We are all broken hearted and in pain watching Moreen walk away but we can't force her to stay. We can't force her to accept the help we are offering. We can't force her to understand how her life will be different and difficult without education. We can't make her understand the protection offered to her by living in the house. We must trust that we have shown her the Lord's love and taught her scripture and how to walk in Him and we must trust that He is there with her even when she is far away. Above all, as she returns to her relatives to live, we pray that she makes wise choices and that the Lord will protect and guide her.

As I've spent time thinking and praying and crying about this these past few days the Lord has shown me how often I act like Moreen. He is standing in front of me offering His help, His love, His plan but I think I know better and I walk away. He could force Himself on me but, in love, He won't. I realize how often I have grieved His heart by my rejection of Him and how the situation with Moreen gives us a small prespective of the pain we cause Him everyday -- by not spending time with him, by treating prayer as a last resort rather than a first defense, by trying to do things in our own strength that would be so much easier and better done in His. Why do I continue to act like a rebellious child when the God of the Universe is offering His perfect help, love, grace and provision? God forgive me. And yet everytime I, the prodigal daughter, return he is there with open arms.

Please join us in prayer for Moreen as she lives with her relatives that she would remember the Lord is with her and that He loves her and that we love her as well. Pray also that she will know we are here with open arms ready to love her.

Kenya Relief Fund Established

Fri, 4 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT

The latest news out of Kenya is that over 300 have died and 70,000 have been displaced in the wake of a flawed election. Please help us reach out to the poor who are most affected with a donation to help us buy food for the orphans in the slum of Kibera. Any money you give will be wired directly to our base to buy food.

Click on the Link below to give now to the Relief Efforts!
https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=kenyaBaseRelief

The country's economy has shut down and most neighbors at our Kibera base simply have no food to eat - the situation is dire and they are desperate. Alex is an example. He is a close Kenyan friend of ours who was shot in the uproar and languishes in a hospital with minimal care.

Our Kenyan staff has asked God what he would have us do and they feel that he wants us to help provide food and share the love of Christ in tangible ways. Yesterday some of the poor in our neighborhood were able to buy a few small vegetables at a very inflated price. Those in the slum who already struggle to get food on a daily basis are suffering the most.

When we buy food, we work with local pastors to distribute it to those in the worst condition. There are a few staging areas beginning to develop and two have been identified thus far that we are going to try and fund.

Please help bring hope to this horrible situation.

Friends in Kibera Report

Thu, 3 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT

This is written by my friend and co-worker Kayla and gives updates on more people:

Reports from our Kenyan friends and what they're saying:

Michelle: they're doing ok. Although currently displaced from their home, they have found a safer place to stay for a bit.
"It's obvious there will be war on Thursday...millions fighting and deaths."
"We don't know what turn Kenya will take. We don't know how to manage if it doesn't improve soon."
"People are desperate and willing to die fighting."
"We are in desperate need of a miracle from God."

Liz: doing ok, currently staying with Michelle and family.

Ramla: Doing ok. Her family is all ok for now. Her shop (and livelihood) however was looted and all is gone. "Please pray that Thursday there won't be war."

Pastor Steve: Remains in Kijabe along with Simon and Margaret. Ok, but feeling the tension.
"There's nowhere to go to get out of it. So we will remain, praying and hoping for a better day."

Monica: Her storage place where she keeps food for a children's feeding program was looted and everything was stolen. At night in her neighborhood, the men sit guard outside while the women and children try to sleep inside, fearing sudden attacks. The boys (Oscar, Albert, & Oliver) remain upcountry until things settle and word is that they are safe.
"It's war within the tribes now, but God has protected us."

Ronald: He sent his wife and kids upcountry for safety. He's staying with a friend in the Jamhuri area. His car (and livelihood) has not been injured in all the destruction.

Pastor Timothy & Pastor Sheth: Denise spoke with them earlier. They are all holding on, bunkered into their Kibera homes. In the same situation with no access to food. Crying out to the Lord.

Pastor Humphrey: all of Toi market was completely destroyed and his church remains standing in the midst of the surrounding rubble. It was looted, but not destroyed.
"they tried to burn it, but the fire can't take that place!"

Pastor George: referring to the protest march on Thursday, "Many people will die on Thursday."

Richard: "Things are very horrible in this country."
"We don't know who to trust because in some places it's even neighbor turning against neighbor."
"Night comes and you wonder when day will come again."
"Instead of fireworks for the New Year celebration we had gun fire, night and day."
"We are refugees in our own country."
"God will breakthrough!"

As I heard the stories of horror unfolding hourly in Kibera my heart crushed for my friends. However I must trust in the Lord to carry them through such a time. I pray a fire wall of protection be around them and over them. I pray for a miracle in impeding the rally planned for Thursday. That a declaration of peace will be spoken and walked out instead of war. Our friends were all encouraged when I told them that we were calling for all to gather here and pray for Kenya. They all send their gratitude for your prayers.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for joining us in prayer! May God be glorified!

Situation Update

Thu, 3 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT

This is written by my friend and co-worker Kayla on the current situation:

I just spent several hours calling many of our friends in Kenya to inquire about their wellbeing amist the chaos and violence. It did my heart good to hear them as up until this point we've been unable to reach many of them. Turns out that 2am (11am in Kenya) is an excellent time to reach them, ha. Here's the latest report:

Everyone is living in fear of what will happen this Thursday. The opposition leader, Raila, has called for a million man march in protest of the presidential election in which he lost. The current government under President Kibaki has banned all such protests and plans to thwart all plans. The word is that police have been given the order to "shoot to kill" anyone who tries to get to Uhuru park downtown where the march will begin. Police will be out in full force. The march is then planned to walk (all million people) from downtown to the State House, which is the headquarters of the current President. According to Raila, his people plan to storm the State House and take over by force. This has the potential of getting much worse than we've already seen.

Currently, no one is allowed anywhere in downtown Nairobi and business and daily life has come to a standstill. Some reports say that the Kenyan government has declared war on the slums, such as Kibera and Mathare. Yesterday they were patrolling all roads and no one was allowed in our out of Kibera. This means no food is available at all. People are bunkered in their homes fearing the nearby gunfire and praying for peace in this land. There are lots of people dying and the constant cloud of tear gas choking others out.

One of the most gruesome stories circling is that the gangs are traveling from home to home breaking in, looting, then asking to see the ID cards of all in the family. If they discover they are of the oppossing tribe(s), they are severely beaten and some are shot and killed.

The Kibera protesters are found fighting police, raiding homes, looting shops, and chanting "No Raila, No peace" meaning they will not be peaceful until Raila is the President. They are desperate and feel like they have nothing to lose, so they're willing to lose their life for this cause.

The latest news is that the electoral commissioner has just admitted to swearing in President Kibaki under great pressure. This confirms the many suspensions of corruption in the voting results. The US Ambassador as well as political officials from many other countries are now involved in the investigation and ongoing communication with Kenyan officials. The goal is peace in this war-torn land.

As I watch all of this unfold on TV, I see very familiar sites and it's hard to believe that this is really happening. Videos of our neighborhood and familiar landmarks around Nairobi are all overf the news. As you can imagine, this hits close to home for me. I fear for the safety of loved ones in Kenya. But I am confident that the Lord is still on His Throne! I will continue to stand in the gap and intercede on their behalf. Thank you for joining us in prayer in this crucial hour.

If you want to know more about what is happening, check out CNN or BBC or the other various news websites. There you will find articles, pictures and videos covering the violence.

Thanks again for standing with me in prayer over the nation of Kenya!

Do we truly believe?

Thu, 3 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT

The past few days have been overwhelming. I find myself glued to any news I can find. Scanning through news pictures searching for a glimpse of a familiar face, wanting assurance they are okay. We've now gotten confirmation from all but 3 of the kids that they are safe and well. And I've spoken to many friends on the phone and been able to confirm their safety and mutual friends' safety. And yet my stomach is in knots.

These people have become my family. The kids are so much a part of who I am now. They have been entrusted to us by God -- we have become their family. So I sit here wondering how I am to react to this. I pass on information and ask others to pray and pray constantly for them but in the face of the violence, unrest and madness it doesn't seem like enough. In my western mind set I want to be able to SEE results. I want to be able to fix the situation. To somehow be able to get them the food, safety and peace they so much need. I want to guard the kids from seeing, experiencing and hearing things that will rob them of their already warped childhoods. But I realize that this says more about me than I realize.

I say that I know God is in control, but I can't sleep. I say that I know God will provide for them, but I worry non-stop. I say that I know God will protect them, but I want to hear their voices and be assured that they are okay? Jesus told Thomas "Blessed are those who have NOT seen and yet have believed." I need THAT faith!

I find it ironic when people treat missionaries as if they are more spiritual or have it all together. The reality is I have learned more about faith from the people who live in Kibera than I will ever teach anyone. Why is it so hard for me to go from heart knowledge of the truth of the promises God has given us to living out those truths in my daily life? I miss the times when I could go into a church and just be Denise, warts and all, and not have the title "missionary" warp people's perception of me. I don't have it all together. I screw up so much I have decided that God chose to use me because then there would be no question as to who was running the show - I just have to work to keep out of His way. The people in Kibera have so much to teach about what walking out faith really looks like. When I call pastors in the middle of what is essentially a war zone and all they can say is "The Lord is taking over" it confirms that I have so far to go.

Father, forgive my for my failure to believe You are who You say You are! I know you are at work in Kenya and are right beside each child and adult I have come to love in Kenya. I know that You love them more than me and that Your heart breaks for the violence that is taking place. Father, restor peace and calm and bring glory to your name through all of this. Draw each one of our friends closer to You during this time. May they learn great things from You and may Kenya forever be changed to be a country marked by Your hand.

January 1 update

Tue, 1 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I just got off the phone with our good friend Evans (of Evans, Humphrey and Sammy). He sounds seriously tired, worried and frightened. The reports continue to be difficult.

Toi Market the main clothing, and food source for Kibera has been completely burnt down. "It is completely gone". There is no food to be had in Kibera, "Even if you had money there is nothing to buy".

Evans and Humphrey are staying at Humphrey's Father's house as his family is upcountry. They have heard that people are coming to burn that block of houses tonight so they are waiting to see what happens in much fear. Also, Evan's mom lives in a very difficult and dangerous area and there is also a roving gang near her burning houses so there is also worry for her safety. Sammy, as far as they know, is safe.

Alex, a young many we've used a a translator some and a relative of Alex, was shot yesterday by police during the rioting. They were able to get him to a hospital and it appears he will live.

In other news we know that a church in Eldoret was burned down today with around 50 women, children and elderly killed inside. It was being used as a place to hide by people who's homes had been burnt. Most of the agression is toward the Kikuyu tribe which is the tribe of President Kibaki by the Luo tribe which backs Raila. It's ironic that these are the two tribes we work with the most.

Prayer Requests:

Pray for peace between Kikuyu and Luo tribes through out the country.
Pray for the residents of Eldoret as they mourn and face huge unrest.
Pray for Kibera residents as they lack food and face days and days of fear and trauma.
Pray for Humphrey and Evans and their families that their houses would be safe.
Pray for Alex, that he would heal well and that God would teach him through this.
Pray for the Toi Calvary Church that we partner with that likely faces the destruction of their building.
Continued prayers for our Kids, staff and friends who are still in fear and scattered.

Thank you for your concern. Know that each one I talk to is extremely encouraged when i relate how many people are praying for them. They feel that they are not forgotten when they hear their brothers and sisters in Christ are remembering them before the Lord. Thank you for being a part of this prayer covering!

Beauty from Ashes

Tue, 1 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I called Pastor Humphrey the pastor of Toi Calvary tonight as I'd seen pictures on BBC of Toi market having been burnt down and wanted to let him know we were praying for him and his church. He reports: "The church is still standing." What!? I saw the pictures. I know the church is in the middle of Toi market. How is that possible. "They tried to burn it with fire but fire can't burn it". Mind you, this church is made of nothing different from the surrounding stalls that have been reduced to rubble: tin, plastic and wood.

Ten families from the church have had their homes and all their posessions burnt or looted but "No one has lost their life. Even the small children are all safe." "Only God we depend on." He asks for prayer for the families who have lost their possessions and homes and for peace but sees this as "the Lord taking over".

The next phone call was to Pastor George the project manager of our school. He also asked for peace and echoed every person I talked to tonight: there is no food in Kibera. He asked for special prayers for a planned rally on Thursday where those backing Raila are asking for 1,000,000 people to march. George's thoughts on it: "Many people will die." We are asking for you to gather with friends and be in fervent prayer for Kenya from 6pm Wednesday night to 6 pm on Thursday. Fast if you are able. Call your Church's prayer chain. Have friends over for a prayer meeting. We need to actively be on our knees before the throne for peace to be restored. Please email and let us know you will join us in this: deniseisinkenya@yahoo.com

I also spoke with Eva who is seeing that they are okay with food today but has just heard that her father, upcountry, is extremely sick and is obviously unable to go to be with him.

I spoke with Francis who we help with schooling and he reports that he and his family and neighbors haven't slept much since December 26th when the chaos began. They are also in fear of their houses being looted or burned and have no food. They also live in fear knowing that many people have been killed in their area.

Pastor Mike again echoes that there is no food. All the shops on Olympic and in most of Kibera have been looted and burned. People tried to come into his house as they were going house to house killing Kikuyu but he was able to explain that he's not Kikuyu and they were satisfied and left (God alone!). He is hopeful that the US Ambassador and the British Prime Minister are now going to meet with Raila and Kibaki and work on a solution.

That is the report for now. Keep praying. There is much fear. But there is also a feeling that God is in control and He alone can right this situation and quell the chaos.

Again, please join us in active prayer from Wed. 6pm to Thursday 6pm for peace to be restored, tribal tensions to ease, safety for all our friends and loved ones and special protection for our Kikuyu friends who are at special risk.

God is in control and "Loves Kenya so much" (to quote Pastor Mike).

Kenya Post-election Chaos

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 00:00:00 GMT

As many people have heard the post election situation in Kenya has descended into a state of complete Chaos.

To recap for those who have missed it.

December 27 elections were held for the presidency with the front runners being Mwai Kibaki (sitting president) and Raila Odinga (Member of parliment representing Kibera).

On Friday rioting began for delayed results. On Sunday afternoon the Electoral commission declared Kibaki the winner and he was immediately sworn in for a second term without media being present. All live Radio and TV has been banned to quell the voilence. Raila's party declared him the winner and asked Kibaki to concede. Raila has also now been sworn in as president (unclear to me by whom) and has stated he will be installing a "parallel" government. Western observers, the US and the UN all seem to agree there were large irregularities in the election count process. The outcome of all this is large scale riots, violence, killings, and chaos in Kibera, other slums in Nairobi and increased tribal violence across the country. THis is a worst case senario situation.

I spoke with Eva, our house mom, and Mzee Aziz (great friend and muslim elder in the area who lives below me on the same compound as the kids) both yesterday and they report the same things: lack of food, to much chaos to leave the house and safety concerns. Eva had heard that there was a chance people were going to try to break into the orphanage looking for food (which they have none) so the Mzee has stepped up their security and has many people watching the houses.

This kids went to be with their relatives for break and are scattered across the country to it will take time to verify that they are all well and safe and take longer to get them back together for school after the insanity calms down. We also have many friends down in the heart of Kibera where much of the violence is.

I am asking you to be in ferverent prayer for Kenya. Some prayer requests are:

Political situation -- God's will be done
Peace
safety for our kids, staff and friends
Killings to stop
Food to reach those in Kibera without it (transportation has been stopped)
God to be glorified through this hard situation
Those of us here in the states who are concerned for our friends and many loved ones there

I will be updating this blog as I recieve more news (at least daily) for the next few days. Please check back for new prayer requests and up to date information on our base in Kenya. Also, please consider asking others to join us in prayers: church prayer lists, prayer chains, email friends, your family and friends. God alone is in control of this situation and we need to go to him on behalf of our brothers and sisters in this hard situation.

This is an article that I came across that explains well how things are in kibera:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22440430/

There is a slide show that shows some on that page.

Thank you for praying!

Life in the US

Mon, 3 Dec 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Ever wanted to yell "Stop the World I want to get off?" For those who can't keep track of me, I'm now in Chicago. I had a wierd situation the other day where I was walking through walmart and I suddenly realized I had actually no idea what state I was in. I was in Kansas at the time but let's just say it was a disconcerting feeling. Since returning from Kenya I've been in NE, KS, CO, NE, IL, GA, AL, GA, FL, IL, NE, KS, NE, KS, NE, IA, and now IL. Hence the Walmart moment. In the next month I'll be finishing up with IA, NE, KS, NE, and IL before Kenya.

I spent Thanksgiving in Nebraska with my parents and my grandma. Which was low key but good. The week before I'd traveled down to Sterling College (my alma mater) to make some contacts with their missions team's leaders who are coming to Kenya in June. This will be Sterling's 3rd year coming to Kenya and they have graciously brought supplies for the orphanage both times and are planning to again which is a great help to us as transportation of supplies is always an issue. We also went down to see family friends that we hadn't seend in several years which was great and I spoke, briefly, at their church. It's nice to be with people who knew me when I was just a farm kid from Kansas.

My friend Less and her daughter flew out to NE on Friday after Thanksgiving and got to experience the wierdness that is my family in it's element. We decorated for Christmas on Saturday and then drove through the night back to Chicago in my parents car which I'm stealing for the next few weeks. While in Chicago, I'm making contact with friends, new aquaintances, have spoken to a small group from a new church, finishing 31 weeks of a devotional that I'm putting together for next year, working on the websites some, writting a newsletter and other needed last minute things before I return to Kenya in January.

Living the transient life is challenging. As someone who has moved a lot in my life ever since I was 8 I long to put down roots and be somewhere longer than a few months but I also know that this is where God has me right now. I just pray that there is a time when I'll be more stable but am also working to enjoy this time and it's benefits as well.

I'll be returning to Kenya just after the first of the year. Pray for the kids as they celebrate Christmas as a family.

Questions Answered

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT

When are you returning to Kenya?

I'm learning the art of flexibility. I will defenately be in Kenya by the first part of January. I'm hoping to be in Kenya for Christmas but due to the planned elections on Dec 27 we are uncertain of the stability of Kibera during that time. That decision will be made by Thanksgiving.

How will this trip to Kenya be different?

So much will be different. Two new staff members will come to take over the responsibilities for the school so that will be a huge stress relief. All of the staff and teams will also be living outside of Kibera for the first time. It is actually cheaper for us to live outside of Kibera than to pay for security and rent in Kibera for all of us and the teams. This will also allow for an easier split between work and rest, hopefully helping me to refrain a bit more from working 24/7. This will also help with health issues that we all experience living in a slum with so much sewage and dirt and germs everywhere. So I'm looking forward to this trip being healthier in all aspects physical, mental, spiritual and sanity. I'm looking forward to having more time to spend with the kids just doing discipleship and one on one times with them instead of trying to do too much at once and therefore doing it all badly.

How's your health?

It's okay. I don't have the exhaustion. I'm learning how to handle stress in a more healthy way and I'm making plans to keep it more manageable while I'm in Kenya. I'm also learning that the pain/muscle spasms in my legs can be controlled with certain pilates and stretching so I'm getting better at that. I'm soooo much better than I was. Trusting that God will continue the healing.

What's the plan for this year?

I will be in Kenya from JanuaryApril. I will be back in the US in May-July speaking at VBS's and Camps regarding the orphanage or at least that's the plan. (If you know of any churches or camps who might be interested please let me know ASAP.) In August I will be in Georgia for Staff Conference and finishing up office/fundraising stuff and then in September I'll be off to Kenya again.

Why are you in the States so much?

Up till this point it's all been health related stuff. Now, it is due to much needed fundraising. The orphanage feel short last year due to increased costs for schooling and increased kids. We would like to expand our efforts to other orphans but can't until we are able to raise the monthly sponsorship of the orphanage to reflect our costs. So for now I'll be spending part of each year in Kenya and part in the US. Unfortunately, both is necessary. I can't be in Kenya full time if we don't have our costs for the kids covered and I can't be here full time because I can't love on the kids and keep things going well and oversee that we are having them in the best possible schools, situation and loving on them when I'm here.

Pray for wisdom and provision as we try to work out this obstacle so that I can be in Kenya full time to love and serve the kids.

Meet Eva our new House Mom

Wed, 7 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Eva came to join our orphanage in July. I can't say how thankful I am that God brought her to us!

She comes very well trained: she has gone to school for nursing, tailoring, and was previously a hired teacher for home-schooled kids from 4th grade through 12th grade. She is also nearing completion of a two year Bible Training certificate from the Pastor's Training School in Kibera.

She's doing a great job but it's such a hard position. These kids are great, happy kids on the outside but inside they are messed up from years of abuse, neglect and a general feeling that no one wants the. Top that off with the fact that they remember their parents and remember their deaths from various traumatic situations and it just increases the difficulty of reaching them in meaningful ways.

Along with her came her niece, Phylis, who is an orphan and has lived with Eva for a couple years. Phylis has been a fun addition to our house and is near to Martha's age so they have become fast friends.

Pray for Eva to have wisdom and patience for the challenge and for God to continue to give her strength.

Please Pray for Moreen

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Moreen, our oldest girl at the orphanage, has had a hard life. She's only been with us a few years and before she came to us she had no schooling, seemingly no positive adult role models, plenty of frightening and wierd "religious" practices and beliefs and little love.

Now, She is having a lot of trouble with school, authority, life in Kibera and more. A week ago she got in a fight with Eva who is caring for the home. Eva had been working hard to help Maureen even when others in the area had given up on her and that situation caused Eva to ask the question, "Is this too much for me?" The other options are all less than ideal. To make it more complicated, so many people have given up on her that she believes she is a failure and is just waiting for us to give up on her to and we dont' want to appear to be doing that.

The option that has arisen is to send her to a boarding school far away from Kibera. We are looking for a school that is pretty strict but also that is based on Christian principles. The hope is that she will be able to improve her schooling, to forget some of the things from her past. To learn more about God's love for her and to be in a controlled environment. Now the challenge is to find this school.

The other challenge will be that we can't send her until schools open in January. That leaves us two months still and we feel strongly that there is a better option than for her to stay in the orphanage for these two months. If she didn't have to finish school this year we would immediately send her out of Kibera to live with some friends that can love on her and take care of her apart from the setting she is now in. Because that is not an option we have spoken with her pastor and he seems to have an idea of a solid, godly woman she can stay with for a limited amount of time where we can monitor her attempts to improve her behavior, which we've told her is crucial to us being able to send her to a boarding school. We are walking this process out in much prayer.

One other thing you can be in prayer about. We are pretty sure that she is in need of counseling and much prayer. It is our hope that as we get her into a safer environment she will be in a position where God can heal her spiritually and emotionally as well. Please pray that God will show us how we can help facilitate this healing as well.

The short version is that we love Maureen and we don't want to give up on her.

My heart just breaks for her. Tonight Scott and Eva and Moreen had a meeting and some very hurtful things were said by Moreen directed at Eva and Eva is now really reeling. Tomorrow they are making some decisions and it's hard. Tonight Moreen was told that she'll be moving.

Pray for unity and peace during the situation and for the other kids who are watching this situation to see how we will treat this broken and messed up sister to see if we really love them. Wisdom and guidance from the Lord is what we all need above all.

First Birthday at 13

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I don't remember my first birthday party. I have seen pictures and know that there was a cake that didn't farewell from the experience. I remember when I was 3 and mom made me a Big Bird cake and I remember the year I had chicken pox on my birthday.

I'm sure you're like me. Birthdays come and go and you assume people will say "Happy Birthday" and there is an assumption of at least a small celebration.

Kevin Msiega will always remember his first Birthday party and his first cake -- lemon with blue icing. He should remember it -- he was turned 13.

When I came to live with our kids in February one of my first decisions was that every one of them would have a birthday party this year. I soon found that wasn't as easy as it sounded. When I asked them when their birthday was they didn't even know. Not only have they lost their parents and their families but they've forgotten this important piece of themselves. So we sad down and picked birthdates. Kevin and I picked July 26th for him -- my brother, Brian's, birthday.

When the day rolled around Kevin had to be reminded that it was his birthday -- he'd forgotten. When he was reminded the huge grin never left his face. In the US the tradition is spankings for the years you are old. In Kenya, the "wash" you -- which means buckets and buckets of water are thrown on you. The other kids jumped into this with relish until Kevin was past soaked.

After dinner Zitah proudly brought in her first "solo" cake (I've been teaching her as the birthdays came and went how to bake the cake and make frosting and rudimentary decorating -- all that can be done without tips that I'll take back next time.). After questionable singing the cake was devoured and the pans were licked.

Maybe having a birthday party doesn't seem like such a big thing but to Kevin it's the first time he has been the center of celebration.

Pray that Kevin continues to lean on the Lord and allows God to guide his life.

Our Greatest Fear

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 00:00:00 GMT

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -- Marianne Williamson

So many times people tell me that I must be strong, or a "special" person to live where I live and do what I do but it's really more about stepping past lip service to "God is a big God" and actually walking that out in faith. A wise couple once told me that to make real change it has to be more uncomfortable to stay where you are than for you to make the change -- that's what living in Kibera with the kids is about. It became more uncomfortable for me to sit here in the US and say "it's sad about the orphans" than for me to pick up and leave. It looks a little insane at the time. But having one of these sweet kids throw their arms around me or come running into tell me something that makes it all possible. From a worldly perspective I gave up a lot. From a Godly perspective I gained the world.

Big Changes

Sat, 3 Mar 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Beginning Saturday, February 17, big changes have been made at the AIM children's home here in Kibera. Our previous house father and his family, after four years of service have moved on to new ministries. Now, Zitah, Shosho (Swahili for grandma) and I begin a new era there. I moved to the flat that overlooks the orphanage to be closer and more hands-on day to day. Zitah (our 18 year old who just graduated from high school) is responsible for cooking, purchasing food, some cleaning and generally being my sidekick (which is a ton of fun and a great chance for me to disciple this sweet girl as she looks toward the future and what it means to be a woman who follows the Lord).

Shosho is a mama who has such a heart for the Lord and will help with raising our kids until we can find a full-time house mom. I'm excited for our kids to have a grandma there who will love them and encourage them in the Lord and be such a good, loving influence on them.

We are excited! There were plans originally to move the orphans out of Kibera, and that may still happen in the future, but God has clearly intended us to remain in Kibera for now and to increase and change our ministry to these sweet kids. We are excited for the Christian community that seems to be rallying to step in and help us care for these kids. Pastor Timothy will be "Father" and will be spending some time each week with the children. Several of the young adults from the church (Francis, Edward, Edwin) who are seeking after the Lord are excited to come and spend time with the kids to encourage them to follow the Lord and to help them in any way that they can. The FYM family here is excited to be able to have a crash pad closer (my apartment) that will allow them to spend time in the evening with the kids without the need to be out after dark. Above all we want these kids to feel that they are loved, not only by us but more importantly by the Lord, and He has been at work rallying that support without us even having to ask for it or seek it out.

The past couple weeks have been a muddle of packing, moving, painting and cleaning. I am excited to now get settled and begin loving and teaching these kids and watching them continue to come out of their shells (sometimes I think it would be easier if some of them would stay in their shells just a little as they are more and more hyper and giggly, but I love it!)

Pray for us as we make this transition and for the kids as they adjust to all the changes. Raising thirteen teenagers isn't for the faint of heart - I'm so thankful that it's the Lord doing that work and not me in my own ability.

I also want to introduce Martha! Welcomed into our home about a month ago, Martha is our newest little girl. She is 10 and is in second grade at Blue House school where Purity, Ivon, Kevin Mg, and Joseph go. I'll be spending some time the next couple weeks trying to track down her case history and find out more how we can help with sweet girl. Please pray for Martha as she makes the transition to her new home, new family and deals with the loss of her own family.

Moses Hill Covenant Women Blankets

Sat, 3 Mar 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Last March I emailed my mom and asked if Covenant Women would be interested in making blankets for the orphans. I had a way to get all of them here in May without charge but that only left them 6 weeks to make 15 blankets. Those sweet ladies jumped into the task with full energy and they arrived here last May. Not only did they make 15 blankets but they made each one different, no two are alike. These will be blankets that the kids can take with them when they graduate from school to remember. This was always in anticipation of the transition of the orphanage that was coming. Well, yesterday, March 2 those blankets were carefully laid out on the kids beds while they were at school. When the kids arrived home they were so excited and each loves their new blankets.

Stephen, Joseph, Kevin Mgodi and Safia with their blankets. Kevin gives them a thumbs up.

Ivon, Martha and Purity with their blankets.

Everlyn, Janet and Effy with their blankets

Kevin Mw, Joseph (Shosho's grandson) and Moreen with their blankets

Tour of Our House

Sat, 3 Mar 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Join me in a tour of our house...

This is the room for our four boys: Kevin Mw, Kevin Mg, Joseph and Stephen:

This is part of the girls' room. These are the beds for Effy, Purity, Everlyn, Martha, Janet and Ivon:

This is the other half of the girls' room and is where Safia and Moreen sleep:

This is our sitting room. The other half of the sitting room has tables for homework:

This is the kids' kitchen:

Effy and Martha are doing laundry in the courtyard. This is where we hang laundry, do dishes and laundry and hang out when it is nice. All the rooms open onto the courtyard:

The rooms that I didn't take pictures of are Shosho's, Zitah's, the shower room and the toilet.

Francis and Joseph

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 00:00:00 GMT

A story of some of the kids we work with.

Francis (16 years) and Joseph (13 years)'s parents have both passed away. Their father passed away when they were still quite young. Their mother passed away in 2003 after a long illness. Francis still gets emotional when talking about his mom and it appears he was present when she actually passed away.

As the oldest child living at home, many, many responsibilities were thrust on Francis as their mother got sicker. They were originally taken in by neighbors in their home area in rural Nyanza province in western Kenya. Joseph was able to continue in school but there was not enough money to send Francis so he fell behind.

In January 2006, they moved to Kibera to live with their only other sibling, an older brother, Crispine, who is 23. Unfortunately, their older brother has been unable to get work and struggles to provide for the boys basic needs.

We met them in January as they played with the former street boys at a home across the street from our house. We learned their story and decided there was something we had to do. We got them enrolled at New Adventure School, bought them uniforms and supplies, and are so proud of them.

On May 8th I got the honor of walking them to school to get them set up for the first time this year. They were extremely excited. Joseph, the younger one, was walking right on top of Michelle and was clearly excited and Francis, the older one, walked on the other side of the road (didn't want to telegraph he was being walked to school) tried to be more reserved until you asked him something or saw the ear to ear grin.

I wish you could have been there when I went to the school a few weeks later to show some new people around. We walked by the St. 7 room and all the sudden a movement catches my eye. Little Joseph is sitting in the front row waving his heart out to get my attention. I stepped to the door to say hi to the rest of them and Francis does the cool head tilt, eyebrow raise, and big smile that lets me know he's glad I'm there without looking "uncool" in front of the rest of them. Mr. Evans sees us and shows us through all classes. Then we sat with Mr. Evans in the teachers area as he explained the school to them. Josephine (St. 7 teacher) walked through and I stopped her to ask how the boys were doing and she said that they were doing great but didn't expand. I looked back to Mr. Evans and he asked which boys I was asking about and I said Francis and Joseph and explained that I was the one who brought them. He said, "Those boys are doing so well. Not only are they top of their class in Math and Science but they are so respectful and obedient. I tell the rest of the students that they need to look up to them and follow their example. I also told the boy who has been head of that class for many years that he should watch himself because now he has very strong competition and if he doesn't work hard he won't be top of the class much longer."

Currently, Francis is 3^rd in his class and assures me he'll be first by the end of the year. Joseph is 6^th (of 35) and is planning to be fourth soon. I am so proud of them.

They are great boys but their future is very much in doubt unless their older brother can find work to make their lives more stable and food more sure daily. Please pray for Crispine to find a good, stable job quickly.

A bit more about Francis and Joseph:

Francis's favorite color is red. His favorite food is rice with "anything". In school his favorite subjects are math and science and once he finishes school he hopes to become a journalist so that he will have a stable income to provide for his family. When asked who Jesus is to him he responds " He is the savior of my life." His favorite verses are the ones which tell him about God protecting us. After school Francis is often playing football in front of our house and then studies late into the night.

Joseph's favorite color is also red. His favorite foods are spaghetti and meat. His favorite subjects in school are science and social studies. When he's older he wants to be a commercial pilot so that he can fly to America to see it. He said that Jesus is his savior and that his favorite. When asked what he wanted you all to know most he said that he wanted to be able to draw you a picture so that you could understand what it looks like so I will include a Kibera general picture with this as well.

Meet the Kids

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Kevin Mwingizi is our oldest boy. He's 16 years old and in Standard 7 (7^th grade). His favorite color is green and he likes to eat chapatti (Kenyan staple flat bread like a thick tortilla or like Indian nan) and drink soda. His favorite subjects in school are mathematics, Christian religious education (CRE is a standard of all schools in Kenya), and Engligh. After school he likes to play sports, especially football (soccer). When Kevin grows up he wants to be a teacher. When asked who Jesus is to him, he responds "He is my savior". His favorite Bible verse is 1 Corinthians 15:58 "Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." Kevin thinks it is most important for people in the US to know that he knows Jesus Christ.

Janet Akoth is 15 years old and in Standard 6. Her favorite color is red and she likes to eat "bananas, chapatti, and the cake of Kenya (ugali) and vegetable". Her favorite subjects in school are math, science and English. After school, Janet likes to play football (soccer) and jumping rope game (sort of like an extreme version of Chinese jump rope). Janet wants to be a "preacher" when she grows up. When asked who Jesus is to her, she responds "Jesus is my savior. He died on the cross and he took my sin, so I am the child of God". Janet's favorite verse is also 1 Corinthians 15:58 because " I like that verse because when I read it, it tells me that we should be praying for each other because if we pray God can answer us." When asked what was most important for people in the USA to know about her and life here she said "That they would pray to God for me"

Moreen Juma is 15 years old and is in Standard 5. Moreen's favorite color is red and her favorite food is fish and ugali (cornmeal and water mixture cooked to the consistency of stiff mashed potatoes). Her favorite subject in school is Social Studies and after school she likes to play football. When she grows up she wants to be a teacher. When asked who Jesus is to her she responds "He is my friend." Her favorite Bible verse is John 11:35 because it tells how Jesus wept. She wants people in the US to pray for her.

Effy Awour is a bubbly 14 year old with a constant smile which brightens her standard 6 class. Her favorite color is green and her favorite food is chapatti and meat. She enjoys math and science in school and football after school. When she grows up she wants to be a lawyer (bubbliest lawyer ever!). She is happy to tell you that Jesus is her personal savior. Her favorite Bible verse is Deuteronomy 30:15 because God has kept more room for those who are served. When asked what is most important for people in the US to know about her she reports "God is faithful in my life and he is doing well in my life and I am well here in Kenya. Pray for my life."

Everlyne Atieno is a loving 14 year old in Standard 4. Her favorite color is yellow and her favorite foods are chapatti and meat. In school she enjoys math and science and after school she enjoys playing football. When she grows up she wants to be a teacher (which was obvious as she went around helping translate these questions to those who don't speak as much English and patiently helped them fill in each question). When asked who Jesus is to her she responds "He is my father" which means much more knowing that her own father has passed away. Her favorite Bible verse is John 14:15 "If you love me you will keep my commandments." She asked that the people in the US to stand with her in prayer.

Safia Hussein is an outgoing 13 year old in standard 7. Her favorite color is yellow and her favorite foods are chapatti and sausage. In school she likes math and after school you can often find her fighting the boys for the football during a game. When she grows up she wants to be a nurse so that she can "treat the sick ones". When asked who Jesus is to her she responds "He is my personal savior because he died on the cross because of my sin". Her favorite Bible verse is John 3:16. When asked what special message she wanted people in the US to know she said "It is important because it is very good to know my life and me too to know them."

Stephen Naro is a friendly 13 year old who is in Standard 7. His favorite color is blue and his favorite foods are ugali and chicken. In school, Stephen enjoys science class (what is it with boys liking to know how to blow stuff up?) and after school Stephen will be found on the football pitch because when he is older he hopes to be a professional footballer. Jesus is his savior who saved him from his sin. James 4:8 is his favorite Bible verse "Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purity your hearts, you double minded." He likes that verse because "it talks about how we can be close to God". What he wants people most to know in the US is this "Tell them I love Jesus so much. The life in Kenya is so good to me."

Joseph Owuor is a quiet 13 year old in Standard 5. His favorite color is blue and his favorite foods are chips (French fries) and cakes. In school, he enjoys science and after school he transforms into a focused footballer. When Joseph grows up he want to be a pastor because Jesus is his savior. His favorite verse is Philippians 4:16 "Even in Thessolonica you sent me help for my needs once again." He wants you to know him him and his life.

Kevin Mgodi is a goofy (seriously, this is the most normal picture I have of the kid)12 year old boy in Standard 5. His favorite color is green and his favorite foods are rice and chicken. In school he enjoys science and after school he is an aggressive football player. Jesus is his savior. His favorite Bible verse is John 14:1 "Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me." He wants people in the US to know him, especially to pray for him.

Purity Asira is a shy and sweet 11 year old in Standard 3. Her favorite color is red and her favorite foods are soda and chips (yup. Normal kid.). Her favorite subject in school is math and after school she likes to play the jump rope game. When she grows up she wants to be a doctor. When asked who Jesus is to her she responds "my creator". Her favorite verse is Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through him who gives me strength." She wants people in the US to know how her life is going.

Ivonne Awino nearly always has a smile from ear to ear. She is a 10 year old in standard 3. Her favorite color is yellow and her favorite foods are chips and chicken. In school her favorite subject is English (she loves to try out new phrases she has learned on us) and after school she likes to play football. When she grows up she wants to be a doctor. When asked who Jesus is to her she responds "He is my friend." Ivon likes the story of Jonah. She wants people in the US to know about her life and pray for her.

Seeking Prayer Partners for

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Do you want to make a difference in the life of a child in ways that money can't buy? We are seeking dedicated, faithful prayer partners for our kids at New Adventure School and our Children's Home. Many of our kids at New Adventure School are also orphans who live with guardians who struggle just to put food on the table. Our kids at our Home are all orphans as well. One of the things that these kids lack that I took for granted as a child was the blessing of praying parents.

They have a tough road ahead of them and the struggles will be difficult and many. Are you willing to give your heart and your time in prayer for one special kid? To commit to pray for them daily and to read the updates that we send occasionally on their progress and special concerns.

We will send you a picture and a short bio on your child along with suggestions for prayer.

Please pray and seek the Lord before you commit to this vital program. We are looking for people who can commit long term to praying for these kids and who will commit to telling us if they can no longer fulfill their commitment. If you are interested please email me at deniseroberts@adventures.org and I will send you a bio on your child!

Kibera Kronicles #4

Mon, 5 Jun 2006 00:00:00 GMT

It has been a crazy few months for me so again I apologize for not writing but know that I continue to need your prayer support. Your prayers have help in more ways than you can ever imagine from food poisoning; good-byes to FYMs; staffing changes; getting lost in a not to great area of Kiberia and God sending Pastor Wycliffe to rescue me; and below are just a few other things I have encountered these past few weeks.

I worked with a medical team for two weeks the end of April and first of May. They did a medical clinic at New Adventure School which was a crazy two days. There were more people there needing help than we had time to see and many of the people on the medical team were first timers. They had never even been out of the States and were unprepared for the magnitude of the problem or the conditions that they would be working in. It was difficult as I quickly realized they wouldn't have time to see all of "my" 350 kids. There were, however, many they were able to see that were desperately in need of help. They saw everything from typical colds to bronchitis to life threatening situations beyond our ability to help. It was interesting to see Kibera again through their eyes and to explain what life is like here.

We then went up north of town to Githurai to do a clinic there. The difference from Kibera to Githurai is stark. The compound was full of grass and though the people were fewer in number they were not less needy of the medical care. I met a woman, Sarah, who had 6 kids and no means of income. She couldn't figure out why her youngest, at 8 months old, couldn't sit up. Kristen, one of the nurses on the team who specializes in babies, and I took one look and realized that the baby was likely suffering from Downs Syndrome. There was no way to explain to her the profound effect this would have on her child or the special challenges she would face. Kristen tried to explain that this baby would take longer to grow up and acquainted her with Margaret who runs the clinic across the street from Life Care Ministries where we had set up. But it was hard to look Sarah in the face and tell her there was nothing we could really do to help her small child or her difficult circumstances.

When we returned from Githurai they check up on all the orphans. I felt like the nervous mother taking her kids to the doctor, praying that nothing was wrong but wanting them to find out if there was something . . . multiply that by 13 and you'll get a picture of where I was. I was standing in the middle of the courtyard walking from room to room and writing notes of what each child needed. We found that they all need to be de-wormed (I starting them on a three month cycle for that) which is pretty much required here for all kids. We also found that one most likely has asthma and a few others have symptoms to be watched. We also found another girl seemed to need glasses but when Alysha (FYM helping me out) took her in to the doctor they found she has perfect vision - now I am praying and trying to figure out how to respond. She is so convinced that she can't see and that her grades are suffering but I don't want to yield to unnecessary requests either. Pray that I have the wisdom of dealing with this situation and the cries for help that come, unspoken, with it.

Next stop was Eburru. Eburru is in the mountains around the Rift Valley northwest of here near Naivasha. It is a breath-takingly beautiful area that is only accessed by this really sketchy road. I have never driven a matatu over such roads so I succeeded in overheating it and causing us to have to add more water half way up the mountain. The Eburru area is so remote and so destitute. Where we camped over looks the Rift Valley and it's amazingly beautiful. The people are so warm and friendly, but it's impossible to not be moved by their plight. Water there is created from steam as it is a volcanic area. It takes 24 hours to generate 5 gallons of water from steam, if the steam is consistent. The water is sold for 22 shillings a gallon - or about $0.35. They have to buy water to bathe, wash clothes, cook and drink. They are mostly farm laborers who make 70 Ksh a day wages - or about $1.00 - and that work is not consistent. This causes crippling malnutrition, dehydration and poverty. During our Open Air on Sunday I sat in the middle of the town square (a really loose explanation of this small group of 2 dozen shacks/stores around an open dirt area) and was playing with and holding 2 little 2 year old girls. Mary was bright and happy and smiling and well cared for and the other little girl was serious, thin, painfully quiet and nearly catatonic. After a half an hour I gave Mary back to her sister to concentrate on the other child. I held her, sang and played with her for nearly an hour and a half and couldn't get her to crack a smile, talk or do anything but look painfully into my eyes seemingly pleading for help. She kept smacking her lips so I went and found her water - she drank all I could give her - I found a couple small cookies and fed them to her and she scarfed them down. Time came to leave and I tried to find her family. Eventually a girl came over and took her hand and I went back to the team - my heart broken because there wasn't more that I could do. I was gathering the team into the van when I noticed that there was tugging on my skirt and turned to find she was back at my side. I knelt down and hugged her and the older girl re-appeared and drug her away screaming. I swallowed the tears and busied myself with leaving but my heart will never forget the face of this tiny, helpless little nameless girl who so desperately wanted love.

On May 8th I walked two street boys to school to get them set up for the first time this year. They were sooooo excited. Michelle (FYM Spring 06) and I paid for their tuition and bought their uniforms and school supplies. Joseph, the younger one, was walking right on top of Michelle and was clearly soooo excited and Francis, the older one, walked on the other side of the road (didn't want to telegraph he was walking to school) tried to be more reserved until you asked him something or saw the ear to ear grin. Sooo Funny. I wish you could have been there when I went to the school a few weeks later to show some new people around. We walked by the St. 7 room and all the sudden a movement catches my eye. Little Joseph is sitting in the front row waving his heart out to get my attention. I stepped to the door to say hi to the rest of them and Francis does the cool head tilt, eyebrow raise, and big smile that lets me know he's glad I'm there without looking "uncool" in front of the rest of them. Mr. Evans sees us and shows us through all three of those rooms and then takes us over to the other side where the rest of the classes are. We stopped in St. 1 and they sang us a song - so stinking cute. Then we sat with Mr. Evans in the teachers area as he explained the school to them. Josephine (St. 7 teacher) walked through and I stopped her to ask how the boys were doing and she said that they were doing great but didn't expand. I looked back to Mr. Evans and he asked which boys I was asking about and I said Francis and Joseph and explained that I was the one who brought them. He said, "Those boys are doing so well. Not only are they top of their class in Math and Science but they are so respectful and obedient. I tell the rest of the students that they need to look up to them and follow their example. I also told the boy who has been head of that class for many years that he should watch himself because now he has very strong competition and if he doesn't work hard he won't be top of the class much longer." So. They are doing great. Every time I see Francis (Joseph doesn't come by the cul-de-sac as much) I ask him about school and he just grins from ear to ear and says "good!"

Sometimes in the hard stuff here it's easy to loose sight of the good stuff. If I didn't have these I think I'd die of frustration. But these are the little glimpses I get of what we are accomplishing and how we are able to make a difference in the lives of these kids. Until next time keep praying.

His,
Denise

Kibera Kronicles #2

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Thank you all for your prayers and emails - they have been very encouraging. Sometimes when you are so far away from friends and family it is easy to feel forgotten but you all have made sure that I don't feel that way. Thank you for your concerns, and questions and encouragement - don't hesitate to email, I love hearing from you all. Here are some highlights of the past month:

Orphans and Dramas

This first Saturday in March I was in charge of neighborhood ministry with the FYM team to work with the orphans. We had the kids over and taught them a couple of our skits that we do at open airs. There are no lines so they are all mimed and done to music so it makes it easier for the children who know little English - it also translates well across cultures. We taught each orphan a part for one skit or the other and broke into two groups. The FYMs did a fantastic job. Many of the orphans are extremely shy so when they had to be up front of a small group and acting for the first time they were extremely shy and hesitant. The FYMs cheered loudly and encouraged for each little bit done well which is so much what these kids need. Then each group came back to perform for the entire group - it was awesome seeing them look to the FYMs for assurance that they were doing it right and seeing the FYMs just pouring their love onto these precious kids. While they were practicing I walked back and forth between the two houses they were rehearsing in trying to see how it was going. I walked over to the guys house and checked on that group for the first time and as I stood there in the door watching tears came to my eyes to see the huge smiles on the kids faces and the huge smiles on the faces of the FYMs and to see the kids really getting it. One of the dramas is particularily hard and complicated so when they were performing for the rest of the group their FYM counterparts were crouched down in front or standing in the back walking them through each piece, it was beautiful. After each drama the applause was huge - many of us (FYMs and leaders) were in tears at one point or another.

We then also introduced the kids to tacos that day. Which was an enormous hit. Each kid went through with their FYM pen-pal (the FYMs write them letters each week) and the FYMs helped them make their first taco. They then came over to me and got sodas and then found a place to sit and eat. It was so fun to walk through the two houses and see conversations going between the kids and the FYMs and see the huge smiles on all the faces - even the ones who had no idea what the conversations were about as they were in English. We told the kids they could have a second taco and there was another rush through the line. Several even had 3^rds. I then pulled out the cookies I'd made - like 10 dozen and they polished them off. (the tortillas were fun/amusing as we couldn't buy them so we decided to make flour tortillas which is hard - they are difficult to make thin. So when we were rolling them out and cooking them the day before a couple of the girls from the orphanage - Janet and Moreen - came over and began showing us the proper way to do it as tortillas are similair to their staple of Chapati. So it was especially fun for them to be surprised to find that it was part of lunch for them the following day.)

Family Ministry at Word Impact

Last Thursday for Family ministry we went to the neighborhood around Word Impact church (one of the three churches our FYMs intern with) and went door to door. We had a sweet time of encouraging, sharing and praying with three women who have some level of understanding of our Lord.

Our First stop was with a woman of well over 60 years (here, where the average life span is 48, that is ancient), Janet. She has been a believer for many, many years. She had 12 children - many are dead and she is caring for 2 of her 35 grandchildren. Her biggest prayer request and comment on the church was that she is illiterate and while she is in church every Sunday and hears what the pastor says there is no one to visit her during the week to read the Bible to her and remind her of Jesus words. Stupidly we, hearing this, bowed our heads to pray only to have this old woman beg us "don't you have a few moment more, can't you read me something from scripture, anything?" Jenae, having had her bible out anyway, stops to read the beatitudes and part of the sermon on the mount. We prayed and as we prayed I opened my eyes to look again at this woman,s house and pray for her specifically on that - the holes in the roof, the thread bare blankets and my eyes fell on a strange thing peeking out of a cabinet - it was sort of shiny and weird. I figured out, after a minute, that it was part of a radio. After the prayer I started asking her what I'm assuming she thought were insane question - do you have a cassette player in your radio? She said she did have a cassette player but didn't have any batteries. My mom, when I settled that God was calling me to Kenya, bought me a Swahili bible and the Swahili New Testament on cassette - I have it on my shelf now.( Last Saturday, after the outreach, Josh (FYM) and I went to Janet's house armed with the first tape and 4 D batteries. After struggling to find her for a few minutes (she wasn't home) we were able to get her all set up and explain with the help of a woman who "just happened to stop by" to translate and make her understand that Josh and one of the elders would come by every Sunday and give her a new tape and ask her what God is teaching her. I pray that she wears these tapes out and that I have to replace them.Pray for God's wisdom and for the fruit of his word to bear fruit in her granddaughters' lives through her.)

Our next stop was next door at Dory's. Dory is 5 months pregnant. She is currently taking care of two orphans that she has had since birth that are distant relatives' orphans. Dory and her husband have prayed for children of their own and over and over Dory's pregnancies end in stillbirth. They are praying for this to be the one that survives. They are faithful believers.

Our last stop was at a woman's house that I'll call Sena (we missed her name but it's something like that). Sena said that she's only lived in Nairobi a short time and that her sister brought her there and now they live together. We asked how we could pray and she said that her sister had to come get her because she has had 5 pregnancies and they have all failed so her husband sees her as useless and worthless and has rejected her (this is common in this culture that sees a woman's only role as relating to her children). Her pain was fresh and obvious as tears threatened to overflow. She wanted us to pray for her to be able to have a baby. We prayed for first of all for her marriage to be saved (this is a functional divorce here) and for Christ to claim His rightful place in her and her husband and for Christian men to get a hold of him where he is upcountry and show him the truth of what he is doing and the error in it and that God would restore their relationship based in Him.

Visting Pastor Mike's Nursery School

Last Friday I went with Pastor Mike to see his "Friends of Jesus" Nursery school. The kids saw me coming from ridiculously far (I sort of glow in the dark or somethingthe whole white skin thing) and began yelling "How are you!". They met me on the bridge over the deepest part of the trench I've seen (this is far into Mashimony and in the heart of the worst part of the slum). They all grabbed my hands and skirt and whateverit was like a weird blob that could barely move for fear of us becoming a large dog pile. We finally got to the school and they sat and quietly stared at me. They introduced themselves. Pastor Mike then began to point out the orphans in the group - who now live with guardians. This is school had been without flour for porridge for 2 weeks.for lack of $4.30.This porridge is especially vital as many eat little else the entire day. The kids are so sweet and so, so small. I adjusted my bag and my water bottle (vital life source here and we carry them everywhere), which is clipped on a carabiner on the strap fell over. One of the littlest ones ran over to look at what had made the bumping sound. She then began asking her teacher a million questions about the bottle.

Pastor Mike and I then stopped by his house and the school where he used to be headmaster but left his job because he felt God call him to full time preaching. Many friends have questioned his decision as he is seen as "unemployed" as he has no source of incomeother than the Lord. He and his wife have 5 children - including one of this deceased sister's children. His wife continues to teach and bring in some income but with the nursery school that Pastor Mike is personally funding there is very little money to go around. I look at this man who is supporting himself, his wife, and 5 children as well as 30 kids in a nursery school on probably less than $100 a month. What account I will have to give at the throne for the little I have done. Pastor Mike was himself semi-orphaned when his mother died when he was one and when his father remarried his step-mother severly beat him - leaving life long scars. His father eventually divorced her because of the abuse - which is amazing and also reveals the extent of the abuse. This has caused his heart to turn toward the children.

The needs, so basic, of these children who live here threaten to daily overwhelm my heart. Only through relying on God and trusting him with everything I have and do and am can I continue to walk this daily. The longer I am here the truer that becomes. Whatever personal reserves I came that I could draw strength from are all spent. It is only Him who gets me out of bed in the morning with the strength to walk into the day knowing I will be constantly be smacked in the face by the realities of here. God, continue to break my heart and mold me to "glow in the dark" of Kibera for Your glory.

School adjustments and purchases

Through a generous donation we are being able to begin buying books for the kids at New Adventure School. By the time they come back from their month break in May they should have all the books, and exercise notebooks that they need to really learn. Desks are also being ordered to replace the benches and rocks they are currently sitting on. To help with the enormous overcrowding situation we had George has been able to find 3 rooms for the three oldest classes to be in. We are looking at other possibilities for the other classes too but already it is so much quieter in the old building and so much more room for the kids. I will be going over there tomorrow to see how their end of term exams are going. Last week the FYMs who teach there had the Standard 7 class help the Standard 1 write letters. It was definitely a learning experiences - for Standard 7 mostly. Some were so patient and such good teachers and many others who had previously thought that teaching was so easy now understand better. It was a good lesson on service for them.

April Insanity

UmsoApril is going to be a bit nuts here. This Friday we leave on a mission trip to Limuru with the FYMs Kenyan friends. There will be around 27 of us. We will be ministering to Auto mechanics, children, women, adults and our Kenyan friends who are going. It will be a great time of ministry.

April is also the month the kids have off school so there will be more time with the orphans and more fun and learning to plan with them. Pray as I build relationships with them that we pray will help with transition. I am also planning an Easter party with them on April 14 with many fun decorations lovingly sent from Moses Hill Covenant Church women's group (my dad's the pastor there). The packages arrived safe and sound today and I and the FYMs have had fun digging through it all. I am also planning a couple game days and looking into other fun possibilities.

We have a medical team arriving the end of the month where I'm going to be trained to do set up for projects for the summer months. There are many details with it from washing tents to doing finances.

The FYMs also go through many last things during the end of April which is hard. Pray that they are able to stay in it until the end and not start counting down and bailing out to avoid hard goodbyes.

Praise/Prayer Requests

Praise the Lord for your support and encouragement and prayers and emails - I honestly say that I could not do this without it. Don't stop!!

Praise for continued adjustments to life in Kenya and Kibera

Praise for more health stability due to new asthma meds and some rain

Praise that Sterling College (the college I attended)'s summer mission teams here (with another organization) are going to be able to bring many things for me and the orphans!

Pray for rain - while we are supposed to be in rainy season and it does rain some it's not at all as regular or as much as it should be - drought and starvation continue as a result.

Pray for wisdom for Scott and I as we look at moving the orphanage and all that entails

Pray for wisdom as we look for temporary locations for the school classes and as we make the adjustments to curriculum and furnishings

Pray for strength as we finish out this FYM term strong and glorifying Him.

Pray for stamina as we fly through April and wisdom as I pour into the orphans

Pray for relationships to be built between me and the orphans that form quickly and deeply to help with the transition that go beyond the time I have to build them

Pray for wisdom as I continue to disciple and build into Kaitlan and Beth (two FYMs) that I would have His wisdom and boldness to speak His truth into them.